Vanity is such a loaded word.
The moment it is spoken, we already know what it is intended to mean: shallow, self-absorbed, surface-level. Nobody ever calls you vain as a compliment.
But lately (well, more like 3 hours ago), I asked myself: what even qualifies as vain?
Is it vanity when you buy a designer bag? Or when you stand in front of the mirror a little longer than “necessary”?
Is it vanity to take ten selfies until you find the right one? Or is it just curation, much like a photographer would choose the best frame?
And if it is vanity… is that always a bad thing?
This is not a new question. Vanity has been discussed for centuries; take the Bible, for instance. “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.” (Ecclesiastes 1:2).
In that context, vanity is not about wearing red lipstick or engaging in flex culture. It is about the fleeting nature of life without God, the fact that everything we chase eventually fades.
But somewhere along the way, the word shifted. Vanity became more about appearances, people who seem to care too much about how they look. And yet, what if what we call “vanity” is sometimes just self-expression? What if it’s joy? Or even survival?
Think about it from this perspective: enslaved and colonised people once used clothing, hair, and adornment as rebellion, a way to say, “we are still here.” Was that vanity, or was that resistance?
Even now, fashion, makeup, or fitness are not always about appealing to someone else’s gaze. More often, they are about feeling good in your own skin.
Of course, there is the flip side. We’ve seen how easy it is for self-expression to tip into self-obsession. When your reflection becomes an idol, or when your worth rises and falls on likes and compliments, that is when vanity becomes dangerous. When caring about yourself makes you blind to others, maybe that is when the balance tips.
Before I lose my train of thought, I don’t think vanity (as used in most contexts) is always vanity (the actual meaning). Sometimes it is healing. Sometimes it is rebellion. Sometimes it is actual confidence, and that unnerves people.
I guess what I am trying to say is, not everything we call ‘vain’ is actually shallow or empty. And until you know for sure, consider whether your judgment is fair or unfair.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. Your thought process amazes me always.